I Need to Settle

I need to settle down and commit to one path. Jumping between different subjects and languages scatters my attention and drains my energy. I want to leave more room for what matters most: worship, exercise, reading, and simply living.

I also want to become more authentic. I don’t want to pursue things because they impress other people or make me appear accomplished. I want to spend my time only on the things I genuinely enjoy and would still do even if nobody knew about them.

One example is computational linguistics. It isn’t a pure passion for me. Part of my interest has always been tied to prestige—the desire to be seen as intellectual or somehow different from everyone else. It was also tied to helping Arabic linguists enter the field of computational linguistics, as if that responsibility belonged to me. I already contributed what I could in that area. Now I have to accept that I no longer have the physical or mental capacity to continue carrying that mission.

When I look honestly at myself, what excites me is much simpler: writing, reading, learning languages, worshipping Allah, and working out. I enjoy choosing interesting books, reading novels, journaling, going for a run, wearing sports clothes, reciting the Qur’an, praying, and living a quiet, minimalist life. None of these require me to appear important. They are rewarding in themselves بإذن الله.

I also need to spend much less time in front of a computer.

Sometimes I see people like Cristiano Ronaldo, Erling Haaland, or MovementByDavid, who have devoted themselves to something they genuinely enjoy while earning a living from it. I sometimes feel jealous, and at times I even feel envy. But when I look deeper, what I truly want is not their fame. I want good health, barakah from Allah سبحانه وتعالى, and peace of mind.

I often think about something that Jason Fried wrote in Rework:

“Solve the simple problems and leave the hairy, difficult, nasty problems to the competition. Instead of one-upping, try one-downing. Instead of outdoing, try underdoing.”

That idea resonates with me more than ever.

Fields like NLP, computational linguistics, UX, and programming are challenging, fast-moving, and crowded with brilliant people who dedicate their lives to mastering them. There is nothing wrong with those fields, but I no longer feel called to build my life around them.

I’m getting older. My time and energy are limited, and I want to spend them where they matter most: worshipping Allah, taking care of my health, raising children, supporting the elderly, reading good books, writing, and living a simple, peaceful life.

Perhaps this isn’t settling for less. Perhaps it’s finally settling into the life that fits me.